Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
