I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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