you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
