Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
