Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
