the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
