This girl is more easily done than said...
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
