suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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