You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
