I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
