My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
