i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
