just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
