You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
