The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
