You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
