Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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