Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
