apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
