haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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