what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
