Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
