she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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