Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
What a fucking waste of an outfit
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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