He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize