Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
