Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize