i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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