Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
