I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize