Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
