i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
there is glitter all over my balls
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
