im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize