are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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