Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
