his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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