So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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