its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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