Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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