He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
