Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
