Screwed.edu
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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