Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
