Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
