So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
