just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
