Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize