just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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