smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
