then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
