he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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