As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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