Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
