How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just gift wrapped bread.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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