so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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