Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
he thought i was a dude.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
