You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
