I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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