SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
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