i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
