so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
