I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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