We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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